Still Corners

The pain ebbs, but in the dark corners of my mind, thoughts of her still remain, of the future we will have, of shattered dreams and hopes. I was never sure if I believed in ghosts, but now I live haunted by these thoughts that linger in the shadows of my mind.

I know now, that I was not the one at fault, but that doesn't mean that I don't wish that things were not different, that I had indeed found the woman that I would spend the rest of my life with. Sure, the single life can be fun, but I think deep down all I want is someone to share adventures with and travel the world.

Maybe, I was just projecting these dreams onto someone who really could never satisfy them. I loved her, but to be realistic she may have had too much baggage that only served to accentuate my own issue. For so long, I had been able to keep them under control, but with her in the picture, I neglected them.

I am going to have to handle all of this alone for a little while until I can get some solid ground under my feet. Only then, can I truly be there for someone else. Think of the times when you were needed but couldn't because of the situation you were in. I think that is the real reason that you were angry and sad, not just for the woman you lost, but because you felt that it was over something that you could have prevented.

So? What now? I can either choose to live in bitterness about all of this or I can learn from it and try to be better. This is a tough road that I have ahead of me but there is a prize waiting for me on the other end.