One of great problems of getting to know people is that they are rarely who you imagine them to be. With many, the person that is projected is vastly different than the person that is behind closed doors. Depending on the situation, this can even be endearing, to see past the strong, hard shell and see the intimate vulnerabilities of the person beneath.
But other times, seeing who the person really is, is what destroys the relationship. For some, it is a simple matter of lacking substance and depth, which is still a turn-off but for others the beautiful shell is just disguise to hide the darkness inside. It saddens me to realize that we are all broken is some way or another, and some more than others(I am no exception). I think that having these unrealistic expectations of people is part of what sets us up for these massive disappointments. Even before they happen, you begin to see the cracks in the veneer and feel the dread waiting to wash over you like some massive tidal wave looming overhead. And even though we know what is coming next, it does not lessen the impact.
I'll get over this, just like I have gotten over everything else. But, what worries me, is that each time I feel less and less pain and it makes me wonder what that means. Am I becoming so jaded that it is cauterizing my ability to feel or care? Or is it simply that I have learned to recognize the signs and was able to mentally prepare myself a little more this time?
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