And just like that, everything shifted and I was thrown into a successful position when just a little before I lost my love and my job, confined to my room and locked in my mind, it is amazing how quickly things can change for is, for better or worse. I know that this is a blessing though, something that I will be eternally grateful for.
I wonder how things would be if she had abandoned me when I needed her the most. Would she still be around to profit from this windfall as well. The question is, would I want her so be here with me as I enjoy this with me if that is the kind of character she had, to bail at the first sign of trouble.
Once again, I face the bitter truth that this departure was for the best as much as it pains me to say it. Sometimes, the dead weight must be trimmed in order to properly achieve our dreams. All that time, I was chasing her dreams not mine. I was just feeding on projections and sweet lies from honeyed lips. Oh well, I cannot beat myself up for this. I was so starved for love that I rushed in blindly just for a respite from the loneliness of existence.
I will recover. I know that now. And the world is a large and interesting place, even if it is not only good. I will find new adventures on the horizon if I open myself up to the opportunities. Travel, art, literature and new people to interact with are all awaiting me. I must continue to look to the positive in this situation.
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