Finally falling into the familiar step of the single life, I shake the memories of the relationship like a bad dream. For a minute there, I lost myself. I had been so wrapped in the sensation and experience of finally being in a committed relationship after such a long time of stag life that I was compromising too much to keep it. Don't get me wrong, I loved it for the most part. I mean, I probably could have picked someone better, but you can never really control who stumbles into your life.
I had known for sometime that it would end. I had seen what I liked to call "the seeds of destruction" manifest themselves in her, aspects that I knew would later clash with my personality and pull us apart. Yet, when I broke things off I still felt a loss. There was a withdrawal from a certain kind of drug that I had become accustomed to. I had traded in my sense of adventure and freedom for comfort and security and coming back to my state of being was like a rubber band snapping back to its original shape.
Each day that passes with her gone, I think about her less and less, but she is still a shadow at the corner of my mind. Despite my best efforts, I had emotionally invested myself into someone that I knew was not good for me, but I have to admit that it was nice to pretend for a while. But now, I am starting to feel like myself again, my eyes open to all the possibilities that life has to offer with nothing holding me back anymore. I don't regret anything though. It was something that I had to go through to understand what I really want out of life and my relationships and where I need to go from here.
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