The Outlook.

There is strange feeling that you get as you emerge from the wreckage and look all around you. After embracing the loss the hope, you begin to see beauty even in the tragic things, in fact, even more in them, for they are the contrast that is often overlooked until you have trained your eyes to see them.

This is different than the pessimism that many seem to have, where they can always find something to complain a out even when they have so much going for them. These people sicken me. They do not understand that is is the tragedy of life that causes us to cling to beauty so much more fervently. There has to be beauty to get us through life and if we cannot find it, we create it.

Beauty and Solitude

I am beginning to value time spent in solitude again. It seemed that for so long I would do anything to give me an escape from my thoughts, whether it be surrounding by people constantly or dulling my senses with drinking a d the like. However, now that I am spending a lot more time alone, I am beginning to realize that many of the qualities that I value about myself were brought about in my solitude and not when I was in the company of others.

I am an artist, yet I feel my creativity diminish of I spend too much time in the presence of others. It is draining to wear the cheerful mask that I have crafted for myself over the years and I need time to retreat to create and to recharge. The last few weeks have been interesting for me. Due to all the things I have been buying for the new apartment, I have not had as much money to go out and I realized that I was missing part of myself and I have become reacquainted. I finally had to face thoughts that I had been avoiding and I am better for it.

Solitude, isn't as bad as it is made out to be. You get to reflect and grow. And from this, a new spring of creativity was born and just in time too. There is a lot of work to be done.