Royal Flush

     Any person that follows my Facebook is bound to know that I post a lot from my life, almost to the point that it is voyeuristic.  Although, I would rather have an interesting life that is worth writing about rather than just talking about the details of what I had for lunch or whoever I happen to be dating at the time, because no one really cares.  Any why would they?  On Facebook, you are simply a detached series of pictures with words attached. There is no intrinsic connection, no matter how many poignant song lyrics that you post.

     What I am trying to say is that people see what you decide to show them and even that is limited by each person's power of observation.  I used to play poker poker a lot when I was living in Portland.  I liked the idea of social gaming laws that allowed poker to be played in dimly-lit bars that catered to my deviant nature even more so than casinos.  While I would never say that I was the best player, I did pretty well for myself despite the fact that I broke all the poker stereotypes.  I was never stoic, never wore sunglasses and baseball caps and chattered away while drinking and generally having a good time.  It baffles me how I managed to win consistently at first, but then it hit me.  Someone who is stoic is more likely to have tells that show what you are thinking over someone who projects their persona like a wall around them that protects the fevered thoughts racing inside from being seen.  I  discovered that I could be holding a royal flush that would blow everyone away at the table and still be chattering away like I had nothing of importance.  I imagine that it could be pretty damn infuriating to the people that I was playing against when I would show them my hand at the end.

     I have taken this with me in life.  I have always had a problem with over thinking and over analyzing things.  The inside of my mind always seems to be a raging torrent of thoughts, but I could never get ahead in life if I was an open book to people all the time.  So I decided to take what I had learned and apply it to my every day life.  I could have just been closed off but since my profession is dependent how well known I am, that would be like shooting myself in the foot.  Instead, I crafted a character of who I wanted to be while still keeping my "cards" hidden.  I feel that anyone who has lived in the spotlight and have managed to not have been consumed by the mobs in every aspect of their lives have probably developed a similar approach to their lives.  Part of me wishes that things could be different, but I know better.  I am too aware of human nature to be that naive.