I have encountered some problems with being fiercely independent. In an effort to preserve my freedom, there is a tenancy to keep even those closest to me at an arms length. The closer they are to me, the more of a grip I feel that they have over me and it sends chills through my veins. I have no idea how I have become like this. Maybe it is a backlash to the separation anxiety that I used to have. It is like I resolved to never let anyone's claws tear so deeply ever again.
I am not quite sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I feel more calm and level-headed than I ever have before, but part of me misses the feeling of being swept up in a wave of passion and riding it all the way to it's cataclysmic end. However, the cost of those highs were gruesome lows that would for months on end so I am not convinced of the wisdom of that way of thinking.
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