While there is still a chill on the air, the sakura have begun to bloom and as their tiny, petals light up the trees like a fireworks display, I know that change is coming. It had been a rough autumn and winter and at times I did not think that I would make it, yet hear I stand, battered but whole.
While I do not think of her as much as my mind fevered with love once did, every once in a while I will pass a place that once held significance for us and she flits across my mind. Gone is love and even the hate that I felt for her, replaced by a strange calm that I have yet to identify.
I have stumbled into a new way of thinking, unchained but the fetters of thought that have bound me to what people think of me. After all that I have been though, I really could not care less about what they think. This is who I am and that is that. I have no time or energy to try and impress people who will end up judging me anyways.
But on a lighter note, this new mentality has allowed me focus on my new-found engineering career and my artistic pursuits and I have decided that if I could only devote myself to one thing or person in life, then it would be to art. It does not disappoint me and it has been one of the only things that give me a true sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. My relationship taught me that I am really not a family man and attempting to be one and wearing a mask at all times is a miserable life for me at best.
I have chosen to stick to what I know is good for me and fuels me to move forward. Not all people are the same and I have chosen to accept that. With this new Spring, I will continue to progress, shedding the shackles that once bound me.
